slumbermancer:

fruitsoftheweb:

Damage prediction on pears during transportation.

bad and naughty children get put in The Pear Wiggler to atone for their crimes

slumbermancer:

fruitsoftheweb:

Damage prediction on pears during transportation.

bad and naughty children get put in The Pear Wiggler to atone for their crimes

gordoananke:

midnightthunders:

So… I was giving some jelly to my cat

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My phone started ringing. Forgetting that I was holding the spoon I took the phone.

I never heard the spoon hitting the floor…

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they are evolving

  • That'll be $4.03
    Cashier:
  • I only have $4...
    Me:
  • That's ok, I have the three cents
    Cashier:
  • ...........
    Me:
  • ........
    Cashier:
  • what are we?
    Me:

kobetyrant:

me when I got money: ha! broke ass bitch how the dollar menu taste? I wouldn’t know because it’s Big Macs only around here hoe!!!!

me when I’m broke: capitalism is inhumane and must be put to an end.

awwww-cute:

Found two baby bats rolling on my deck this morning. I had never seen a baby bat before, thought maybe others hadn’t either

awwww-cute:

Found two baby bats rolling on my deck this morning. I had never seen a baby bat before, thought maybe others hadn’t either


I let her have the little bit of peanut butter that was left. She looked at me like I gave her the world.

I let her have the little bit of peanut butter that was left. She looked at me like I gave her the world.

awesomephilia:

They look so peaceful when they’re sleeping. 

awesomephilia:

They look so peaceful when they’re sleeping. 

marthajefferson:

j-uuzous:

Casual reminder that in one of Leonardo da Vinci’s many notebooks containing innumerable artistic and scientific sketches and notes of incomprehensible important, there is a sketch of two penises with legs and tails walking towards a crudely drawn anus.
The sketch was most likely done by Leonardo’s apprentice Salai, who was not only very likely one of Leonardo’s lovers, but who was also infamously mischievous. Better yet, the anus is literally labeled “Salai.”
So either Salai drew these while Leonardo wasn’t looking just to annoy his boyfriend, or Leonardo himself put actual time and energy into drawing these. Either way, the human race is truly blessed to have made such a discovery.
There are dick drawings like the ones you see on desks in school in Leonardo da Vinci’s notebooks. Please cherish this information.

marthajefferson:

j-uuzous:

Casual reminder that in one of Leonardo da Vinci’s many notebooks containing innumerable artistic and scientific sketches and notes of incomprehensible important, there is a sketch of two penises with legs and tails walking towards a crudely drawn anus.

The sketch was most likely done by Leonardo’s apprentice Salai, who was not only very likely one of Leonardo’s lovers, but who was also infamously mischievous. Better yet, the anus is literally labeled “Salai.”

So either Salai drew these while Leonardo wasn’t looking just to annoy his boyfriend, or Leonardo himself put actual time and energy into drawing these. Either way, the human race is truly blessed to have made such a discovery.

There are dick drawings like the ones you see on desks in school in Leonardo da Vinci’s notebooks. Please cherish this information.

archejoiyo:

snivysky:


I think I did it wrong

I think it’s beautiful

archejoiyo:

snivysky:

image

I think I did it wrong

I think it’s beautiful

submariet:

walkingthenarrowway:

I love my skin!

**tears**

lupita your skin is made of  otherworldly suns and precious metals and fucking powdered dragon eggshells or some shit. of course you love it

simplysfans:

This made me smile.

brucetimms:

when ur friend got big gossip and u gotta prepare yourself

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Betcha on land they understand, that they don’t reprimand their daughters. Bright young women, sick of swimmin’, ready to stand.